2015-09-11 Frackin' Sassers
This scene is rated Everybody
Warning: N/A
2015-09-11
Players: Clint, Adrea
GMed by Triskelion (NPC: Fury)
Title: Frackin' Sassers

Part 1 of Mad, Mad Murderworld

[* S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ: Weapons Testing Facility *]

This is a large, reinforced bunker area with extra sound proofing in the walls and sound baffles in the hallway beyond. Testing facilities are varied, as not only are small arms tested here, robots, drones and exo-skeletons are also tested as well as vehicular mounted weapons. There are overpressure chambers, as well as halon fire control systems. Small arms fire is tested at a range of 40 yards, with larger fields and rooms available for other tests and exotic experiments. At need, nearly half the facility can be converted to an under water environment, for testing things beneath the waves, and they also have a wind tunnel here as well with GE propulsion labs latest turbine.

It was a simple enough matter to test a new ballistic armor, finding someone to wear it was another story entirely. Fortunately, Adrea happens to come with her own robotic sidekick. The non-newtonian gel within his armored chest was intended for Adrea's new vest, but it wasn't exactly advisable for Adrea to wear it for the initial testing - and the robot would benefit from the armor just the same.

"Come you big baby." Adrea chastises the out-sized robot, "Turn off the forcefield…"

"If you've programmed them with emotions, we're pretty much screwed. I've watched enough sci-fi to know that." Clint's approach is stealthy, but then, he's a spy. He's dressed in full kit, so he must be here for some official purpose. That and he doesn't tend to stray into the sciency areas without a good reason. Too much stuff to make you think down here.

Adrea rolls her eyes softly, "How many times have you watched Terminator 2, by itself?" Adrea asks Clint, looking over her shoulder. She's not wearing her full-getup, and just has what looks like a small bluetooth headset over her left ear, but it's not actually in the ear. She's wearing SHIELD standard-issue tactical polymers however, but looks to Clint, "You ready to shoot him?" she asks, looking back to Armalite, "You bring the shield down or I'll disable it manually, and I know you don't like when I'm inside your panels while you're active…"

"ARMALITE WILL PLAY." the Roboto says, a high-pitched sound as it hunches it's shoulders and makes a lower profile (for how ever much it can manage that). "But I get to shoot back…"

"Please. I'm a single guy in my late thirties. I've watched all the great movies of my youth a million times. I'm totally well-adjusted and not-sad like that." Clint sniffs once and tilts his chin up. He eyes the robot warily. "So uh. You want me to shoot that thing? Fooooor science? Or is it shooting me for science?"

Adrea shrugs, "You're shooting him to make sure my new chest armor is going to keep me alive when i get shot at without my force field's up. He's shooting you for shits and giggles. And he's not it, he's he." She says. She gestures to the robot, who answers, "ARMALITE IS A FULLY SELF-AWARE DIGITAL INTELLIGENCE WITH AN IN-SERIES THINKING PROCESSOR AND A PENTIUM 3 MATH CO-PROCESSOR."

Adrea sighs, "He hasn't used Pentium since at least the nineties, no need to worry."

The robot lifts an open palm and gestures to clint, "COME AT ME BRO."

"Ain't nobody shooting nobody until I get some answers!" A voice.. loud.. and familiar booms out as Director Nick Fury, of all people, comes down into the weapons testing area. "I go away for a couple of months and now there's some fossil that was on ice until Rogers decided to fill her full of spunk and now she's running around like she's in charge of the damn place. There's missing agents, and now you two are pussyfooting around here recreating the love scene from Short Circuit."

"So I'm getting in harm's way for the robot's entertainment." Clint clucks his tongue. "I see how the unpowered get treated here! I'm going to file a grievance with my local union rep. I think his name is Chuck. Or Barry. Or maybe a woman named Amanda. Come to think of it, do I have a union?"

While he's motormouthing, he's also stealthily reaching for an arrow. The robot is about ten seconds from getting an EM pulse arrow shot at its forehead when Fury's fury breaks through. His arrow's back in his quiver with lightning movements. "Director Fury, sir. This is actually work related. Apparently. And I wouldn't mention 'filling her full of spunk' in front of the Captain. He might actually put two and two together and assume something untoward. Cause see, he's been hanging around me lately. Also I might point it out. Inapropes." Is he asking for it? Probably. But he honestly can't help himself like ninety percent of the time.

"I don't recall a love scene in that mov-." Adrea starts to say, before Armalite interrupts, "FIVE IS ALIVE." in his deep, booming voice." She waits a moment for the robot to calm down before slowly turning to Fury. She renders a hand salute and then nods to him, "Sir, we both know you've seen Armalite in all his glory before, you approved his escalation package." she comments, "It wouldn't be the first time I've fired weapons on him - we do it all the time in my own lab, when he's not being a child." she says.

She arches a brow while looking between Clint and Fury, "Should I leave you two boys alone, so you can talk about Mrs. Carter-Rogers without me here?"

"Are you sassin' me, Barton?" Fury asks as he lifts his good brow towards the SHIELD agent turned Avenger. "I think those big boy pants may be getting a little too big for you." he comments as he stares down the archer. "Fossils boinking fossils. Geriatric spunk probably comes out as a dust!" he says with a snort.

"Calm your tits, Fox." Fury starts to say before Armalite has to go and sass him. "You're alive?" he says with a snort and then he suddenly /punches/ Armalite. He punches him so hard that the forcefield may collapse if it's up, and if it's not, may send the poor robot flying downrange into the targets as the Director's shot was to take it out.

"I'm tired of you mother fracking sassers in my mother fracking agency!" he bellows.

Armalite's forcefield absorbs the blow with a visible flicker and what resembles waves on water - spreading out the force throughout the combat-ready model. Adrea blinks for a moment, turning profile to fury for a moment. "I think you'd better speak up sir, I'm having a hard time understanding you…" she says, looking to Barton for a moment. Fury was sassy, but his sass didn't pack a punch like that.

"No sir, my pants fit just fine. Had them specially tailored and everything." Clint is just about to say something else equally as sassy and amusing, but then uh, Fury is punching a robot. And sort of sparking a bit in a totally not-human way.

He may play the fool a bit, but he isn't one. And he is extremely fast. His hand moves in a blur and that EMP arrow he was going to shoot at the robot is in his quiver and fired at the small of RoboFury's back. The good news is, if he was imagining things? It'll just sting a little. If he's an LMD, that's gonna frick with his systems more than a little. "I call that my Voight-Kampf arrow," he quips, even as he's diving for cover.

To show them exactly how tired he is of the sassing, Fury is already unclipping his service weapon to draw on the two. He gets it into his right hand before the arrow snaps into Fury's back and there's a sudden blast of EMP energy through the room as the LMD takes the full brunt of the electrical disruption.

There is definetly something off with this LMD as his systems are fried and his face is actually blown off, skittering towards Adrea as he falls forward on his face, repeating over and over again, "Mother frackin' sassers.. mother frackin' sassers.."

Adrea doesn't take long to react. She's wearing naught but a holdout piece, but she never leaves home without her field-generator on her person. She takes a single step back and gestures towards the Fury-like with both palms pointed upward. The familiar 'bwee-ooom' sound resounds off the walls of the testing facility as she generates a field-wave beneath the Fury-LMD and pushes him straight up towards the cieling at full-force. As soon as the field collapses, she encapsulates herself in a force-field.

Armalite adapts a 'ready' stance, both palms pointed outwards, waiting for the Fury LMD to fall, as it's own field-generator hums to life and gets ready to blast the LMD if it's still moving.

Before the EMP arrow has even found its target, Clint has another arrow in hand, its tip trained on the downed LMD, his eys sharp for any sign that FuryBot will get back on his feet. "See? What did I tell you about robots and emotions? His emotion is anger and look where that's got us please sound the alarm person who is in a forcefield while I'm hanging out here with just a bow and freaking arrow."

The Fury LMD is slammed into the cieling and pancaked before it's dropped back down to the floor and twitches violently before shutting down completely, his circuits shorting out as it lies lifelessly on the ground. That faceplate is turned up, staring at Adrea blankly on the floor.

Adrea looks to Clint again and then between Armalite and him, "The truck-sized robot behind you will just ignore that one." she says. She pauses, "Does…this happen often here?" she asks, gesturing towards the LMD. She quietly calls security, her eye on the 'destroyed' LMD all the while.

Clint is not about to let his guard down, even if the robot seems like it's quite thoroughly disabled. HE'S SEEN THE MOVIES as previously established. "Aren't you the robotics expert? No, RoboFuries don't randomly wander in, yell at me and then try to kill me. Other things, yes. But RoboFuries specifically? Not so much."

Adrea says, "Regular furies?"

With Security contacted, they respond that they will be down in a few minutes, once they get through the lockdowns. That leaves Clint and Adrea and their robotic buddies a few minutes while they wait for the Security forces to arrive. The LMD twitches on occassion.

Adrea hmms, and rolls her eyes, "Robotics and Artificial Intelligence expert does not make me an expert at Life Model Decoys." she says to Clint. "They're…special." she says. "Though that one didn't perform like the normal ones at all…definitely some significant errors in it's construction, makes me wonder if it's SHIELD at all."

It's sort of hard to not stare at FuryBot's Face/Off lying their on the floor, staring at him with his one cold, dead eye. That intense scrutiny is what draws Clint's attention to a slip of paper. He pulls it out, squints at the paper, then turns it to show Adrea. It reads: 'Programmed by DeCara Electronics and Amusements, 2501 8th Street, NY, NY.'

"Why do I feel like someone slipped us their calling card?"

Adrea nods, "Not SHIELD's work then." She says. "That's more than a little troubling, especially as physically powerful as he was." she says to Clint. "I would say it bears investigation. I'd like to know who this DeCara is…"

Security forces finally arrive at the weapons range and look at the mess on the floor. "…" There really is no words for a smashed and faceless LMD as they go to collect the pieces. "Is everyone alright here?" they ask as they go about the cleanup.

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