2015-09-25 The Legend of Hawkeye and the Arrow of Light
This scene is rated Everybody
Warning: N/A
2015-09-25
Players: Clint, Natasha
GMed by Triskelion (NPC: Arcade, Miss Locke, Navi Van Dyne, Handmaiden Fury, Princess Kate Bishop)
Title: The Legend of Hawkeye and the Arrow of Light

Rewinding to a few minutes ago. Hawkeye and Black Widow have just discovered the fate of one of the two agents of SHIELD that was missing. Agent May was still very much alive, at least. As the Duck Hunt machine grabs Natasha and rockets off, Clint is currently left alone in the truck container as it's carried in the opposite direction of the rocketing Natasha.

Arcade's voice and face come on screen of the second game. "Hello, Hawkeye! Don't worry about Widow much, you have too much on your plate to worry about!" he says with a laugh. "Now just hold tight and be patient, and we'll have you where you need to be soon enough!"

"Ugh, seriously? I like the 80s nostalgia bit with the Duck Hunt game. But this funhouse schtick is too old school. Like, grandpa style." Clint might be griping, but he's also checking his arrow supplies. He doesn't let it show that he's concerned for Natasha. If anyone can get out of this, it's her.

Of course she may get out of it. Him? On the other hand? Clint will feel the change in altitude as the container is lowered to the ground. "But I am glad that you enjoy the nostalgia, Hawkeye!" Arcade offers with a chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you, so you took a little longer to set up. But you'll enjoy it, I'm sure!"

There's a snapping of cables as the large container is suddenly cut loose and drops a good ten feet before violently landing in a body of water and starts to sink. "I hope you can swim!" Arcade offers just before his screen blips out.

A large container doesn't hit water gently. It's a common misconception that a water landing is soft and cushioned. In fact, a large object dropped from a great height hits with almost the same amount of force as smacking concrete.

How he times what he does next is anyone's guess. For someone with no supernatural skills, Hawkeye's timing is absolutely perfect. He coils upwards and manages to jump out of the container just as it hits the water. His feet jam on the edge of the container, then he pushes off and swan dives, swimming as far away as he can from the comtainer to avoid being pulled under by the debris. Oh, he's bruised and maybe even fractured a bone or three, but his body armor is designed to stabilize those kinds of injuries so he can keep fighting.

Escaping from the container is a pretty easy task for Hawkeye, even as he makes it into a more difficult task by leaping free and landing in the water. It's only a short swim to the shore before he's on solid ground again. He finds himself in a forested area of the park. The sounds of insects chirping is loud, and there is no music as of yet. Instead, there seems to be milling fireflies, twinkling in and out as they flit around.

That is until Clint gets himself pulled to his feet before one of the fireflies grows in size as it gets closer and closer to him. And it looks just like Wasp, except she's glowing completely. "Hey, listen!" she offers brightly and cheerfully to Clint as she buzzes about his head and shoulders. "You're late, the Fury Tree has chosen you to represent the Shielded Forest in the tourament to earn the Light Arrow from the Kingdom of Myrule. You even lost your hat, silly goose!" she says, summoning a purple stocking cap as it lands on Clint's head.

Then the music starts to play, a windwood selection, bright and cheerful.

The Legend of Hawkeye and the Arrow of Light

Clint just…stares. The look says, 'are you kidding me?!' loud and clear. He squints at the fairy girl, then looks off into the forest. That's when the cap lands on his head. He immediately pulls it off and tosses it to the ground. "Will the freaking arrow jokes never stop?" And then he's stomping off towards the forest to try and find some kind of path. Tinkerbell can follow if she wishes.

" Don't you want to take the tutorial first?? " Navi Van Dyne ask as she flies after Clint. As he wanders around the forest, stomping away, she summons yet another cap to land on his head. Apparently this is going to be a thing as she flies around Clint a few times.

That is until a rock flies out towards Clint, threatening to hit him. " Watch out, its Hydras! " Indeed, crawling out of the woods instead of are little land based octopuses that look like a living version of the Hyrda symbol that are shooting rocks at Clint. Just one at the moment, spit shoot. Shuffle shuffle.

"I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO GET SUED BY NINTENDO," Clint yells out to the sky. "This is total intellectual property thef—" He scoots his hip to the side to dodge the rock. It almost looks like a little Elvis hip-shimmy. "I bet Natasha's game isn't this humiliating." He pulls back and lets an arrow loose, towards the octopus-thing's eye. A kill shot is a kill shot, right?

You know what happens when you shoot a Hydra? Clint's arrow strikes true, and instead of dying, the Hydra splits in two and they both start shimmying and shooting at Clint, spitting rocks out at a faster pace.

"Silly Hawkeye!" Navi Van Dyne chides, "…this is why you should have taken the tutorial, you'd know they'd split when shot!"

Hawkeye lets out a yell in frustration that coincidentally sounds like the hero in the game this whole scenario is mimicing. "OK annoying fairy girl. How do I kill them, then? Give me the cliff's notes tutorial." He's not entirely convinced the flying girl is actually here to help him, but it's better than grunting incoherantly and doing a bunch of fancy dodgy flips.

"HMPH!" Navi Van Dyne says. "You didn't say the magic word!" she complains as she actually goes and bops one of the Hydras, splitting it again to make three of them to start shooting at Hawkeye. "Say the magic word, or I'll do it again!"

"Seriously? It's not like the green guy was ever that nice to you. Stop breaking character. Look, I'm wearing the stupid hat. Isn't that enough for you?" Clint Barton, not exactly known for his charming people…err, fairy-skills.

"ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT GIANT MAN?" Navi Van Dyne gasps and starts to cry. "You are /so/ mean!" she says as she bops yet another Hydra. "And it's not a stupid hat, I made that hat with love and magic!" Breaking character for Navi? Yes, totally. Breaking ranks for Janet Van Dyne? Perhaps not.

Spit shoot, spit shoot, spit shoot, spit shoot the Hydras do as they scoot around, doing their Hyrda like thing. Finally, she sniffles.

"Fine. They don't like electricity."

Clint has to do some pretty fancy acrobatics to shimmy out of the way of the rocks. A couple manage to hit him, but fortunately it's against his armoured parts. Still stings like a bitch, though. He gives Navi Van Dyne a look, then dials up a shock arrow on his quiver. He's not entirely sure that she's telling the truth, but hell, it's worth a try. "Thank you," He murmurs, then pulls back and fires an arrow. It lands in the centre of the creature, and shock lines extend towards a cluster of the creatures. The same underlying tech that's in Natasha's Widow's Bites are in that arrow. Which means, a hell of a lot of electrical current.

The first Hydra is hit and it sends an electrical current throughout the rest of the Hydras, causing them to all to explode in a bright flash of sparkles and fireworks. And one of them leaves behind a small red gem.

"Oh look, a Ruby!" Navi Van Dyne offers as she flies back to Clint and perches in his hat. "Those are worth money." she chirps cheerfully as she leads the way through the forest.

They come into a wide opening, and there's a town up ahead. "That's Myrule, and Castle Stark up ahead. We should hurry, the Princess is waiting there to have her tournament to decide who gets the Arrow of Light and earns her hand." she says with a bob of her head.

"If she chooses her partners based on who shoots the best arrow, that's a pretty shitty way to begin a relationship," says Clint. Then he grins a little to himself. If he gets to see Nat in a big puffy princess dress, this might actually be worth it. He pauses long enough to retrieve his arrows. He only has a limited number, after all. And who knows what's coming next?

Gremlins? Probably gremlins.

As Navi Van Dyne leads Clint through the town, she hops off his stocking cap to flit around. "Look, there's a shop, we should go there, I bet you could buy neat stuff!" she offers as she flies around Clint's head, the two of them continuing on to the castle. There's already several people here. Is.. that a fox dressed like a stork carrying a makeshift longbow? Yes, yes it is.

And that's a guy in a biker jacket with a crossbow that looks like he could be a zombie.

And the trumpets start to play, loud and long as a figure in a long dress shows up in the hallway of the castle. "Ladies and gentlemen, seekers of the hand of the Princess, we give to you, the one, the only.. the Princess."

And there's the stomping of combat boots as a long lacy dress comes stomping down the hallway, and runs a hand over his head..

Skin dark as chocolate stands out against the pink and white frills, and the only fair hair on this princess is on his chin.

"ALRIGHT, YOU FRACKERS!" Princess Fury roars, "WHICH ONE OF YOU IS MAN ENOUGH TO MARRY ME?"

Clint is really just trying to ignore as much of the insanity as he possibly can. It's pretty darned hard, but he grew up in the circus. People dressed in weird outfits isn't exactly new to him.

But the 'Princess?'

"I've never wanted to lose an archery contest so badly in my life," he deadpans.

"/Handmaiden/ Fury." a voice rings out from behind Fury as he looks behind her. "Princess, I was just warming them up!"

"And I'm sure you did a fine job." the Princess says as Kate Bishop steps out in a purple and black dress, holding her own bow in her hand. "If you want to be mine and have the arrow of light, you must defeat me!" she says as she notches an arrow and shoots the fox automatically, striking him down. "No furries, you red-head freak."

"That wasn't in the rules!" Arcade calls out over a loud speaker.

"I'm changing the rules!" Kate yells out in return.

"I like her," says Clint. "But uh, not in that way. She's much too young for me." That's for anyone who overheard. And maybe the fairy in his funny little hat. And whatever weirdos are watching Arcade's game. He steps forward and asks, "What's so special about this arrow of light, anyway? I got lots of arrows already. One of 'em even lights up. I forget why."

"You don't change the rules!" Arcade roars, and a lightning bolt crashes down, slamming into Kate, and starts to fry her. "This is my Murderworld, these are my rules!" he says with a cackling laugh.

Kate stumbles backwards and cries out sharply as she starts to change, her dress ripping along the seams as she grows scales to cover up anything unseemingly as she grows into a large green dragon with purple and black accents as she looks down at the courtyard. She spews flames towards the biker crossbow guy, frying him immediately.

"The arrow is the only thing that can stop her!" Navi Van Dyne explains to Clint. "The evil sorcerer made it so that she becomes a ragining out of control dragon. She dislikes smoke, but really hates light! So you have to stop her!"

"Now she's much too…dragon for me," says Clint.

He dodges out of the way and rolls behind a rock. "So wait, I thought I was supposed to win the arrow. Where is it anyway?" He pokes his head up to look around and then drops behind cover again. He tries to think of a strategy. This isn't in the SHIELD playbook.

The Kate dragon storms around, blowing flames and causing havoc. Navi Van Dyne glows faintly in confusion. "I-I don't know!" she admits with a squeak as she takes off, buzzing around to try to distract the Kate dragon. One of the bursts of the flames hits the fairy and she cries out in pain and hurt as she falls back to the ground, landing in a tiny heap. "…ow.." she whimpers painfully. "That hurt.. and I'm not sure I can come back from that.."

"You're a magical fairy. Of course you can." A beat, "I'm not chanting, though." Normally Clint might be more sympathetic, but he's fairly certain that isn't the real Wasp. It's all an elaborate mind game. Though he does realize that won't prevent the psycho in the control room from actually killing him.

"Smoke, huh?" He dials up an arrow, then aims for Kate the Magic Dragon's open maw. He lets loose the smoke bomb tipped device. He isn't sure what that will do, but hell, it's worth a shot.

A distorted voice come through Clint's com. It's as if there is a raucous group people giving shouted advice for a streamed live event. It's hard to tell what they are all saying between the static and the yelling. "The" Then a loud shriek of feedback. "-SHOOT-" More static and voices all yelling in discordant unison, "FAIRY—"

It seems the people who are trying to help are trying to make whatever contact they can. Those three words are all that have made it through. The static through his com is loud and wailing after that, unable to give any other advice.

The smoke arrow slams into the Katedragon and she roars in disapproval, storming around in a stunned state, her flame bursts are wild and unpredictable, nowehere near hitting the archer on the ground, as it storms about.

Arcade hears the radio traffic and roars in anger. "Miss Locke said she had all contact jammed! I'm so shooting her again!"

Given Clint's hearing problems, it makes picking out the individual words even harder, even though his comm is calibrated to compensate. He strains to listen to the words. His nose wrinkles. Whut? He tugs off the silly hat and runs a hand through his hair. Spiky roguishness. Much better. "The whole point of this is entertainment, right?" he murmurs to himself. He dials up another arrow, then lets it fly. A large net springs from the tip and aims for DragonKate's maw. It won't stop the flames, but it might stop some of the thrashing about.

The net wraps around Katedragon's snout, but as the smoke starts to disipate, she can see Clint again and starts to stomp towards him angrilly. Navi Van Dyne flits from her spot and back towards Clint. "I can't keep her lit up, Hawkeye, I am sooo sorry.." she says in a quiet and pained voice, the young woman flitting around Clint's head, before landing on his shoulder to give him a little light to help aim with.

Clint has never been accused of being the smartest guy in the world, but sometimes he has flashes of…average amounts of observational skills. He looks out of the corner of his eye at Tinkerbell. He exhales through his nose and mutters, "Cold, man. Cold." He takes a deep breath, then, "Sorry, little fairy. But I'd like to get out of here before they make me marry Handmaiden Fury." He loads up an arrow in one smooth motion, smacks his hand across the tip to activate a super-strong adhesive, then reaches for the glowy fairy to drop her on the end of the arrow.

He does all this, and then draws and lets fly before he can change his mind and be swayed by her. She's probably not real. And if she is, this won't be the first time he's sacrified someone in the line of duty.

Navi Van Dyne squeaks in panic as she's suddenly glued to an arrow. "It's okay.." she says sadly to Hawkeye, just before she's fired skywards. Slamming into the dragon's heart, it sinks it, ripping through her, the light expanding outwards as Wasp .. and her light .. expand within the dragon and they both explode in a shower of light and sparkles. As the fireworks illuminate the sky.. there's a new sound.

Descending from above comes a figure wreathed in white, with long drapey sleeves and robes and pretty little moth wings, uh, strapped to her back. There's a pair of clearly hastily-stuck-on Vulcan ears. Elf ears. Definitely elf ears. Her feet are bound in bandages, and nearby is a small.. child version of Natasha, a little beat up.

It's Natasha. Natasha, reading off a three-by-five note card.

"But Hawk-Link!" she proclaims in an excessively plummy voice. "Don't you know? The light was /inside/ you the whole time! In your heart."

"Well, that was satisfying," says Hawkeye. "Dear diary: today I exploded a dragon with a fairy." He looks over as he hears a familiar voice. He looks up at her, then, he can't quite help it - he starts to laugh silently. Shoulders bobbing. There might even be the start of tears.

"Hey," Natasha says, flipping her card aside. "At least you can still walk. Come on. Meet…" She looks at the tiny mini-Natasha. "Zhenya." She had a kitten named Zhenya once. "Bring your arrows and come with me. Agent May's stuck down a well." Well, she's stuck down a cliff. But A. Clint has stuff that can help with that and B. Natasha remembers Lassie.

"Nat. I'd ask if that's actually you but clearly it is. Uh, you sure she's a real child and not pretend like…the dragon and…did you see that?" Clint thumbs back over his shoulder. "What the hell is this place?"

Zhenya remains firmly behind Natasha and frowns. "<I'm hungry.>" she says in Russian as she reaches up to rub at a bruise on her face, close to Natty's thigh as she hides from Clint.

"Pretty sure she's real. She hasn't even tried to stab me yet." Natasha looks back to Zhenya and puts a hand on her shoulder. "<We'll be out of here as soon as we can. This is my friend, Hawkeye.>" Gesturing vaguely toward Clint, she goes on: "Some kind of sadistic amusement park? Actually, I have a pretty good idea of what this is. Consider it a game with rules. Not /fair/ rules, necessarily, but rules. They usually seem to engineer a way out, even if it's a damn sadistic one. We can talk the rest out," she adds, walking rather stiffly, "on our way to Agent May. Incidentally," she adds, glancing back over her shoulder at Clint. "You didn't bring any snacks, did you?"

Clint reaches into one of his pockets, then pulls out a Larbar. He tosses it to Natasha. Then he reaches in to another pocket and pulls out a patch that distributes painkillers. He pats her on the neck and slaps it on. He doesn't ask if she's okay. He knows he won't get an honest answer if she's not. "Agent May's gonna be super pissed off she got turned into the damsel. Someone's getting their eyes gouged out before this is over, I betcha."

// END CLINT'S TRIAL //

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